Ashley Is A Derby Girl

(and doesn’t even know it)

She loves hissing cockroaches, and frogs with colored bellies… as pets, not for breakfast.

Creative beyond her years, she graduated long before she left the fourth grade.

She takes guitar lessons, but made a cardboard guitar so she could be in an air band with her best friend… who plays the cardboard drums.

Ashley does not listen to music.

She broke her arm trying to combine the scooter and the roller skate.

She only eats foods that are white. (Cauliflower, vanilla protein shakes, and… uh…)

Ashley did not like the Wild Cherry M&M’s I gave her, “But we ate them anyway.” (This will translate into “team spirit” in a matter of years, if it has not already.)

She invented Elvis Tag. Once you are tagged, you can unfreeze yourself by doing finger guns, and saying, “Hey, beh-beh,” by way of an Elvis impersonation. (At her current age, she will let you “unfreeze” yourself. Once she starts skating, tags are for keeps. Possible skater names for Ashley: Tagged Out, Put Down-Stay Down, Elvis Upside Your Head, You’re It!)

*she says the boys didn’t get it*

She once cleaned a toilet with her bare hands. No, she did not use her bare hands to move a scrub brush. Her hand WAS the scrub brush.

On our last day together, we debated who would miss whom more. (I let her win.)

The Ashley Show happens 24 hours a day, and if they televised it that is exactly how much I would watch it.

Ashley is a derby girl, and doesn’t even know it…

yet.