MY CAR IS TERMINAL

Today, I received the report:

My Car Is Terminal

I bought my car in 1992, but it is a 1989 model. A Suzuki Swift to be exact. What that translates to is a Geo Metro with a 4^th cylinder to be exact. I call it a “Geo Metro with issues.” Before I discuss my current car, I have to discuss my past cars, so that you understand both me and my car better.

When I graduated high school, I was given $2,000 to buy a car. I had no idea that this money was coming. We grew up in an apartment, and not only were we poor, but my single mother was shady. I had no reason to price any car other than “on it’s last year.” When I saw the account with $2,000 in it, it was beyond me. I knew I could get something small and reliable, but I had no idea the difference between one car and the next. I tried to shop, to compare, but I would go to people’s houses I found in ads, and just go through the motions. The car I ended up purchasing I bought because I was forced. A job for which I had been training for two months had its final exam coming up the next night. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I was to buy the car we were on our way to buy, or I would not have a way to my final exam. The guy told me, “It’ll be okay, as long as you don’t drive it rough.” (This means, “Sign this release form, in case you accelerate.”) It was a Datsun B210. It was crap. It started costing me in repairs at the end of the first month. I had a car.

While it put me into adult debt, when I sold that car, it was getting five miles more per gallon than when I had bought it. My next car was a 79’ Camaro. As bitchin’ as a Bitchin’ Camero may sound, after only a few years, this car gave me a bill once every six months that was always over $500. I was going to college at the time, so I was not making much, so this put me much further into debt. People liked to look at it, but it was very reliable… for that $500+ bill every six months. Now, I got this car repaired across the street at The Pep Boys because of convenience. After a time of doing this, I heard rumor that they took people’s cars for joyrides. I quit going there after they once changed my battery, cause Haus was told that my battery was weak. When they found out that my alternator was not charging my working battery properly, they tried to dodge their responsibility by saying, “It’s too late. We’ve sent the batteries away.” After going over their heads, we walked 30 feet to a side room in the garage, where I was actually able to pick out my battery from this liar’s line up.

Each of my cars did not last 100,000 miles. Not even close. To shop for my latest car, I went to used car lots. This was an experience in itself, but I wanted something close to the present year, and something with an ounce of warranty. I found an economy car, three years old, 39,000 miles on it. It was a stick, and I had never driven stick. I literally had to finish buying the car, then drive it to my second job. Leaving my second job, I had to shake off the tired at 2 AM, and figure out how to operate the world’s most sensitive 1^st gear. (I got a ticket for running a red light, because one night, I was too tired to get stuck at a red light trying to learn how to get this car into 1^st gear.)

Now, in a car that used to get 35 mph, now getting 25 mph, after getting 210,000 miles out of this car for which I paid $5,500, it is time to get a new car. Almost twenty years later, I still don’t know shit about cars, other than I LOVE air conditioning, and I am tired of unfolding my huge frame out of a tiny, metal box. Not only have I gotten my money’s worth out of my current car, this car made up for the lack of money’s worth on my other two cars. I’ve outlasted the SUV period, and got myself to the border of the fuel economy period. I got myself out of debt, and was able to save up at least 75% of the money I will need to get a car that I get to choose, instead of letting my budget choose. I would purchase another Suzuki if they all weren’t so boxy on the inside. (I’m a jacket size 54, so I need shoulder room.) Now cars are coming with Bluetooth technology (when cars used to only have longtooth technology), and many of what used to be perks are now standards. Now, they have auto dealerships that do not force you to haggle (which is almost always a losing deal for the customer, because those sharks do that for a living).

Helpful tip: When you are with a car salesman, you can, at any time, request to see their list price on documentation, and they have to show you. It is law. This means that you get to see what the company paid for the car. Then, offer them that price, and see where they go.

Some financial bullets that I dodged in my last couple of years of owning my current car are: "If you haven't replaced the struts by now, you need to replace them." First of all, anytime someone says, "Well, you probably needed to replace them anyway," they are full of shit. Either they are trying to sell you a repair that you do not need, or they do not know how to fix cars, and just take guesses. I have dealt with both situations. Once, some mechanic thought he could just keep "repairing" stuff, and see how my car does. Even if I did own a $$$ Tree, it was NOT for him. The later happened with the struts on my car. The struts on an economy car are like the shocks on a normal car. I had gone to an alignment place, a smaller name, to just get my alignment done. Seemed like a real nice place. At the bottom of my bill was some repair suggestions. Now, any other suggestion on that invoice came with two things. One, an explanation as to why the repair was actually needed and two, the cost of the repair. When I looked below that, and it said, "Replace struts." there was no explanation and there was no price. When I looked up to ask, the guy was gone. The secretary had to call him back to inform me that this mysterious repair "that I should get" would cost $800. On a fifteen year old car? On something that wasn't necessarily breaking? BS! Then there was the front axle. Okay, that actually is making a racket, but only when I do a sharp u-turn. That might actually go. And the final straw, the head gasket is letting gunk into my whatever. Even my trusted mechanic said, "Engine too old. Cost too much. $700." Before I end up by the side of the road, I am going to start doing my research.

I will keep you updated, as long as I cannot get somebody that knows what they are doing to do this for me. Then again, considering how much I huffed walking up that hill, that car's heart might be medically tied to my own.